Poetry - February 2004
I'm a Z-Lister, Please Get Me on Television
I haven't been so well known for a while now
The star that I once had has been waning fast
And there's only one thing left for me to do
That would pour scorn and shame from the peers around me
I have a wonderful idea that I could do
I might fly to the Australian outback
Go without much food for days on end at a time
And then have a possible meeting with spiders
Adding a few snakes and eels into the mix
Survive a public vote to make me leave
But I'm going to stay for as long as I can because
I'm a Z-Lister, please get me on television!
(Say no more. What with continual coverage round the clock, it's just boring. Some original programming might make a refreshing change, you know?)
It's Only a Game
I've played my last match for this country
I can't stand all the pain that I'm feeling inside
I got sent off and I feel terrible about that
But what I feel more terrible and scared for
Is my family back home who will be persecuted
They will be attacked by overpassionate people
That don't realise that it's only a game
They'll make it hell for my family
And whle I can be away from the trouble
I can't help thinking that none of this is worth it.
(Inspired by an interview with the Congo international footballer, Lomano Tresor Lua-Lua, who after being sent off against Tunisia, expressed his fear about what would happen to him and his family back home. It's sad when overpasionate football fans can do so much damage to the game.)
It's That Fine Rain..
It's a normal Wednesday morning
And everything seems as normal
And at about half past eleven
The usual downpour happens
The clouds all empty as one
Into the floor below us all
And it's that really fine rain as well
The one that soaks you through
It always comes before you go to lunch
And stops as soon as you arrive back at work
But just sometimes you wish the rain would go away
And come back another day.
(The last few weeks has seen rain fall so regular it's like clockwork, much like now, in fact.)
Is it me or is the channel a con?
It promises you low low prices
Yet the guide price always seems too high
Recommended retail price? Yeah, right.
Wonder if these people have heard of Argos
Or even the local friendly pound shop
Because some of their stuff they sell is so naff
That a pound shop's stock is often miles better
Have you ever heard of Amadeus watches?
Or maybe US Polo Association coats?
I didn't think so somehow
And then of course there's the drop
And the way it slows down when people start buying
It never falls at regular intervals
And never seems to have geniune buyers
Who are all these mysterious "new buyers" anyway?
And why do they spend hours watching the channel
In the faint hope of getting one measly bargain
That might still end up with you paying so much more
Than you could ever bargain for.
(The silly fools on the channel even got rid of the plunger they'd press and exclaim "Let's price-drop". Idiots. Nonetheless it's a completely useless channel only worth watching to see how many people are idiots that spend over £100 on a Prism DVD player!)
Time and Time
I really hate time
The way it goes so quickly
When you're with someone
And when you're alone
It seems to slow down so much
That you feel so down.
(Isn't it so true?)